I want to be held the way I hold others.

Not just physically, but energetically, soulfully. I want someone to sit with me in the dark and say, “You don’t have to carry it all right now. I’ve got you.”

Because lately… I feel stuck. My heart rate jumps 50 points just from shifting positions. Laying down hurts. Standing up drains me. My body feels unpredictable, and my spirit feels tired.

And while I’m usually the one offering comfort, whispering healing, holding space, softening pain…right now, I’m the one who needs to fall apart for a minute. To stop performing strength. To be seen in the unraveling, not just in the rising.

This isn’t a crisis of faith, it’s a cry for reciprocity. To be held, witnessed, and allowed to not be the strong one. To be reminded that I matter too, not just in my giving, but in my being. 

So today, I’m not trying to fix anything. I’m just letting myself feel it all. The grief. The rage. The yearning. And even that is healing.

If you’ve ever felt this way too, like your sacred tenderness goes unnoticed, like you’re always holding but rarely held, please know this:

You are not too much. 

You are not weak. 

You are worthy of softness, even in your strongest seasons. 

And today, I see you. I hold you in the same compassion I wish to receive.

May we all be held gently, fully, without condition.